Parents Throw Daughter Insane Exclusive Sweet Sixteen at Camp

Lake Huron, PA (July 11, 2023) – The Camp Huron Lake social hall was the venue for one of the most ridiculously over the top Sweet Sixteens in recent memory.  Alexis and Alex Rosenfeld threw their daughter Symphony a party complete with top New York City DJ Lil Shlomo, a team of professional dancers, a sushi bar catered by Nobu and several hibachi grills for her friends with less refined palates. To give it a true Sweet Sixteen feel, Symphony only invited a handful of kids to the party to ensure that the others not invited felt exactly how they feel when not being included at home. 

The second each invitee entered the hall after providing the acrylic two foot by two foot invitation/pass that the US Post Office refused to accept so it had to be hand delivered, they were blown away by $20,000 worth of rental couches and high top tables for the four and a half hour event.  After stuffing their faces during the cocktail hour, campers were treated to Symphony entering the rustic social hall on the chariot hoisted up by Camp America kitchen staff, then the party went off the rails when DJ Lil Shlomo kicked some dope beats for the exclusive crowd to dance to.

“We really felt for Symphony since her Bat Mitzvah was cancelled due to Covid. She had to settle for a private, intimate twilight ceremony at Masada overlooking Israel’s Dead Sea with only immediate family.  Reading from the exact Torah my grandfather read at his Bar Mitzvah in war-torn Poland in 1939 was nice I guess but Covid robbed her of that feeling of looking at the faces of disappointment on the girls who weren’t invited in the hallways of her middle school.  How could I live with myself I didn’t give her that opportunity,” commented Alex. “Symphony deserves it.”

All guests were given personalized Louis Vutton/Surpreme collaboration sweatshirts.  According to Camp Huron Lake Director Marty Feldstein, who charged the Rosenfelds an $18,000 event fee, the after-market sweatshirt sales at camp has definitely shifted the focus away from the first half Olympics but since all sales have to go through my clearinghouse at a 30% fee I’m finding a way to deal with it,” the crafty director noted. “I guess the days of a bunk pizza party and a sheet cake are no longer.”

The campers not invited played night water polo with the winners getting frozen Charleston Chews as a reward while the losing team had to settle for sharing the leftovers from today’s afternoon milk call.

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