Hurricane Beryl Batters Offshore Camp Data Center, Parents Furious Pictures Delayed

Lake Huron, PA (July 9, 2024) – Camp Huron Lake Director Marty Feldstein and his staff faced their own hurricane in the form of irate phone calls and emails from angry parents last night after Hurricane Beryl barreled through the Cayman Islands and damaged the camp’s digital data center and web hosting location.  The nearly-destroyed facility houses all of the computer servers and databases that are used for camper emails and, much more importantly, the nightly photo dump that parents revolve their evenings around.

The administrative staff worked tirelessly to quell every parent’s worst fears that something horrible must have happened at camp for there not to be three to four hundred action photos loaded on the camp website.  While the staff manned the phones and sent emails to assure parents that their children were, in fact, perfectly fine, Feldstein worked tirelessly with the data center night manager William Penny to get the backups up and running.  Under the threat of being fired, Penny rowed three miles in Category 4 winds from his flooded house and was luckily able to enter through a broken second story window of the facility in order to help remedy the situation.

“Feldstein told me he’d make it worth my while to get the backups going, so I left my wife and kids on the roof of my house so I can help him out,” noted Penny who risked electrocution several times and suffered two deep lacerations from the jagged glass of the broken window. “We’ll manage here, but I can’t imagine the shit storm he’s facing from half-drunk desperate mothers whose only pleasure all summer is seeing their kids in a forced picture with a bunch of other douchey kids.”

After a group text among the mothers of Bunk 8, Alison Bergenberg was chosen to be the contact person to see why pictures of the kickball game against Bunk 10 were not posted as of 11:30 pm.  Furthermore, the mothers needed real concrete answers from Feldstein as to how they could possibly go to bed without seeing a montage of shots from the much anticipated eleventh birthday celebration of twins Kate and Allie Millstein.

“We want answers. That hurricane’s moved past the Caymans at least two hours ago according the Weather Channel so what the hell’s the delay?” Bergenberg, an ER doctor, complained. “Marty’s real lucky that this hurricane didn’t interfere with loading pictures from the first half Olympics or he would’ve been hearing from my attorney.”

Thanks to Penny’s heroics the backup servers should be working by tomorrow ensuring that the photo scrutiny will be back to normal.  For Penny’s efforts, Feldstein plans on sending him two of last summer’s leftover staff t-shirts as well as a possibly already used $25 Amazon gift card.

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