Camp Fireworks Show Canceled as Director’s Mother Says It’s Too Dangerous

Lake Huron, PA (July 5, 2024) – Hundreds of campers were let down on another July 4th as the mother of Camp Huron Lake Director Marty Feldstein forbade her son from handling any fireworks or other pyrotechnics.  The 62 year-old director had a huge extravaganza planned for the camp but had to rely on the fireworks from local trailer parks after Marty’s younger brother told their mother that Marty was going to be playing with matches.

After an hour long phone call with his mother, Sylvia, 87, Marty emerged from his office in tears, clearly frustrated that even in his sixties he still was not allowed to regale his camp with fireworks since, in 1973, a rumor swirled that a boy from several towns away reportedly burned his house down with a bottle rocket.

“This is so unfair. She never lets me do anything,” wailed Feldstein who also serves as the Men’s Club president in his winter home community in Boynton Beach. “It’s embarrassing.  She’ll also only allow me to have an electric Menorah.  The candles are too dangerous she says.”

In past years Feldstein has hired a professional fireworks company to put on a dazzling show but it was always performed on July 5th instead of the Fourth in order to save several thousand dollars.  But backlash from parents complaining that their children were failing important history exams because of Feldstein’s insistence that the Fifth of July is really the day of our country’s independence from England. And at $13,000+ for a seven-week summer session, Feldstein has plenty of money in the camp coffers to spend a little extra for his over-privileged campers.

Feldstein is currently working with a family therapist to try to persuade his mother that he’s become a responsible adult who can make his own decisions.

“I’m really hoping that after the sessions are done, she won’t make me wait 30 minutes after I eat to go swimming,” Marty complained.  “I hate sitting there watching all the kids in the pool while I stare at my watch counting down the minutes until I can jump in.”

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