Boy Remains Traumatized, Yet Relaxed
Huron, Pa (Aug 7) – Similar to so many adolescent girls experiencing menses for the first time while away at summer camp, Camp Huron Lake Senior Boy Josh Weinstein, 12, had his first ever nocturnal emission last night in Bunk 21. Weinstein, from Melville, NY, woke up from an 8 hour long sleep to discover that the erotic dream he had was indeed semi-real.
Confused as to what transpired and knowing his father, Mitch, wouldn’t be coming up for another 11 days for visiting day, Josh sought out the guidance of 20 year-old counselor Ian Davies, one of Camp America’s finest imported British counselors. “I told the lad that havin’ a ‘wet willie’ dream was no big deal. In fact, it’s brilliant when it happens,” a sympathetic Davies explained. “I remember telling me old man the first time I had one and he told me mum. Me mum couldn’t look at me for a fortnight.” Co-counselor Jake Schneider, a 19 year-old virgin, was equally supportive of Josh’s coming of age moment. “I told Joshie that having a wet dream is a great thing for a guy. You blow a load with no effort and don’t even have to take a chick out on a date. Win win in my book.”
Weinstein’s dream has been the subject of rumors since he confided in bunkmate Jordan Horowitz. Horowitz claims Weinstein told him in confidence that his emission occurred just as he was about to get his high score in Temple Run but other bunkmates say that Weinstein claims to have dreamt about a three-way with Victoria Justice from Nickelodeon’s “Victorious” and Horowitz’s 16-year old sister, CIT Rachel. Weinstein defends himself. “What was I going to say to JH? That I came just before I was about to bang his sister? We’ve been buddies for years and I don’t want to ruin that. I should have just substituted his sister with someone like Debbie Ryan from “Jessie” or something.”
Weinstein, like most 12 year olds at Camp Huron Lake, normally does not change his underwear upon getting into fresh clothes for the new day. “I was unsure whether to keep on my underwear as a badge of honor or change into a fresh pair. I just need to make sure to put them all the way at the bottom of the laundry bag.”