Dix Hills, NY (August 11, 2023) – Local mother Cyndi Rosenbaum has waited four long weeks to finally be able to show off her newly enhanced bosom, flattened stomach, and voluptuous posterior at the Manhasset Macy’s parking lot on Saturday when she picks up her children from Camp Huron Lake. In addition to the procedures that required her going under the knife, Rosenbaum has also had lip filler injections and had her ears pinned back for a more streamlined looked.
After leaving Visiting Day a month ago, Rosenbaum, 45, felt like she blended in a bit too well with all other camp mothers and decided to cash in the “Packing Gift” that her husband promised her after readying the trunks of their three children, Mercedes, 12, Alexus 11, and Bentley, 7. What started out as a simple tummy tuck, quickly morphed into a breast enhancement, Brazilian butt lift and as a bonus she found on Groupon, free calf implants. When Rosenbaum strides across that gravelly, desolate parking lot at 10 a.m. on Saturday she is sure to be the talk of all of the Long Island yentas who won’t recognize her striking new appearance.
“I was basically ignored at drop off because these bitchy moms spent all their time saying good-bye to their kids,” Rosenbaum explained as she readjusted her sagging right calf implant from the tip of her Achilles tendon to the upper part of the back of her leg. “Same thing on Visiting Day. Barely a look my way from anyone other than my kids who wouldn’t stop asking my advice on how to better navigate their interpersonal relationships in the bunk. I’ve never been more depressed.”
Rosenbaum has had an outfit consisting of her daughter’s old jean shorts, a white tank top and high heels all laid out in her closet since the day she finished her stint in rehab to re-learn how to walk with her new disproportionate bodily dimensions. She also has an appointment to get her newly blonde hair blown out an hour before she arrives at the oil-stained asphalt eye sore of a parking lot.
Investment banker husband Josh was unbelievably pleased to see that his wife was doing something to make her feel better about herself and wholeheartedly supported her decision to undergo multiple elective surgeries. “She wouldn’t shut the hell up the whole ride home on Visiting Day so I just said ‘screw it, do what you want.’. I also figured she’d be recovering in the hospital for a week or two so I’d finally be able to watch Love is Blind, Season 3, without her running her mouth every five seconds.”