Bunk 36 Summer Ruined as Camp Laundry Ruins Dozens of Pairs of Lululemon Hotty Hot Shorts

Lake Huron, PA (July 26, 2022) – Ilyssa Liebowitz is furious.  Alyssa Rabinowitz is beside herself. Melissa Moskowitz is demanding answers and threatening Camp Huron Lake Director Marty Feldstein with legal action. These young women along with their bunkmates have suffered a blow to their summers that few could possibly imagine only four and a half weeks ago.  Apparently, the new laundry service Feldstein chose over the winter completely ruined nearly three dozen pairs of Bunk 36’s Lululemon Hotty Hot…


Heat Wave 2022: Senior Camper Literally Sweats His Balls Off

Lake Huron, PA (July 22, 2022) – With the heat index breaking a new record on a daily basis in the Poconos region, one unfortunate senior boy at Camp Huron Lake has literally sweat his balls off.  The shocking discovery was made by the camper late Thursday in the boys side shower house only an hour after failing to negotiate a hook up between Jen Klein and Jon Klein (no relation) at the Senior Division’s co-ed game night activity. The…


Camp Director Gives Parents Tips for Making Virtual Visiting Day Feel More Like the Real Thing

Lake Huron, PA (July 19, 2022) – Camp Huron Lake Director Marty Feldstein knows all too well how excited first time sleepaway camp parents get for their virgin Visiting Day experience.  They’ve seen the videos, read the stories, and heard hundreds of tales of mothers in flip-flops or high heels setting world sprinting records in the quarter mile from the camp’s front gate to their child’s bunk.  Unfortunately for these parents, the in person experience will have to wait another…


Visiting Day Cancelled for All Parents Except the Ones That Haven’t Annoyed Camp with Moronic Phone Calls

Lake Huron, PA (July 15, 2022) – Camp Huron Lake Director Marty Feldstein sent an email out to the parents of all but two campers informing them that in person Visiting Day has unfortunately been cancelled for the second consecutive summer. Although Feldstein blamed the cancellation on the possible transmission of Covid from outside parties to the campers and staff, the real reason is simply that Feldstein does not want to waste a full day fielding complaints from an unbelievably…


Toothbrush, Toothpaste, 3-in-1 Shampoo Still Unopen as Week 3 of Camp Begins

Lake Huron, PA (July 12, 2022) – Although Week 3 of the summer is well underway, Camp Huron Lake Junior Boy Jayque Bergerberger reportedly has yet to open up any of his most essential toiletries including his dental hygiene and bathing products. Bunkmates and counselors are concerned for Bergerberger’s well-being despite the ten year-old boy having the time of his life in his first summer at the cushy oasis for overprivileged youths. Jayque’s mother, Gigi, packed him with an abundance…