Camp Fires Photographer, Posts Pictures from Past Summers Instead

Lake Huron, PA (July 7, 2026) – Longtime Camp Huron Lake photographer Sam Feldstein was fired this past Friday after passing out in the sweltering heat while taking photos of the Junior Girls walking from the air-conditioned movieplex to the air-conditioned dining room. Feldstein was taken to the camp health center where he was administered several electrolyte-heavy sports drinks as well as two lozenges as a precaution and is expected to make a full recovery.

“We got way too many complaints from parents on Friday night before we lost power which frankly was a blessing because the phone lines went down too,” said Director Marty Feldstein. “They were calling for Sam’s head so I had no choice to let the old bag o’ bones go.  I drove him back to his assisted living facility and my mom and I helped him get settled back into their room.”

In an effort to combat rising costs, Marty has decided to not hire another photographer and instead post thousands of pictures nightly from past summers and even from other camps to satisfy the ravenous parent community. A good majority of photos are from the pool and lake where only the campers’ heads and necks are visible so the discerning eye cannot make out last season’s bathing suit fashion.  Additionally, Feldstein was able to find some pics of Niles Foreman, a former Camp America staff member, in the canteen watching and cheering on his beloved England soccer squad in the 2014 World Cup.

For now the phones have been quiet primarily due to parents spending hours each night scrolling through the thousands of haphazardly loaded pictures onto the camp website. Although Marty’s new plan seems to be working for now, several parents have been talking amongst themselves how great their children look while others are getting wise to his cost-cutting antics.

Rebecca Teitelbaum, mother of Junior Boy Jake-Jake Teitelbaum commented, “Nothing is better than seeing my Jake-Jake in his Jalen Brunson jersey that’s pretty much been glued to his body for the past two years. He put a lot of weight on this winter but it looks like he’s taken it all off and then some in the past week and a half.  That Marty is a miracle worker!”

One mother of a first-year camper speaking anonymously seemed suspicious of the new deluge of photos. “My daughter was in some great pictures the first week of camp but since Friday, all they’ve posted of her was her school picture I had to send to them as part of the application.”

The entire situation is expected to come to a head when the Sugarmans return from their Kenyan safari and see pictures of their trans child who, by the pictures posted, has detransitioned and looks exactly identical to how they looked three summers ago.