Huron Lake, PA (July 8, 2016) – With their children away at Camp Huron Lake, Marlboro couple Michelle and Josh Isaacson decided to take a much needed adults-only vacation to Martha’s Vineyard only to be interrupted by their selfish bitch nine year-old Dylyn who spent the last four days vomiting in and around the camp infirmary. Only two days into their week away, the Isaacsons were forced to drive through the night to the camp to pick up their daughter to take her to see their family pediatrician.
“It’s all about me” Dylyn started getting sick early in the week with a slight fever and a headache that gradually turned into frequent vomiting and diarrhea. After three days being monitored by camp doctor, Alan Friedenberg, a Syosset radiologist, it was determined that the best course of action to get the young and extremely self-centered junior camper better was to take her home for a few days of her parents’ care. Unfortunately for the Isaacsons, the timing could not have been worse. Having just settled into a nice relaxing groove on the beach, their little hypochondriac angel was clearly out to make sure they could not enjoy themselves.
“We’ve had this vacation planned for six months and the rental on the beach is non-refundable. I can’t believe our sweet she-devil of a daughter got sick during this exact week,” explained Josh, “I can’t believe the nerve of her. Next time she has a twelve-hour dance recital, I’m definitely pulling a ‘Dylyn’. We didn’t raise her to do this.”
After the egocentric wench worked the camp medical staff like the piece of crap she is, she continued her charade at the Jersey Shore Medical Center tricking their entire pediatrics team into believing she was sick as well. Dylyn, down at least ten pounds on her already small fifty-seven pound frame, put on a show of throwing up and passing out in the emergency room all to ruin her parents’ romantic getaway, according to Michelle.
“She has some nerve ruining our vacation. I didn’t even eat a f’n lobster while I was there. I’m definitely taking this out of her allowance,” Dylyn’s visibly frustrated mother commented.
The unbelievably selfish and self-centered Dylyn will be staying in the Intensive Care Unit of the Newberg Children’s wing of the hospital for at least four more days after having her spleen, pancreas, and a small portion of her intestine removed, completely ruining any chance of her parents returning to the Vineyard.