Jericho, NY (June 21, 2024) – The father of fourteen year-old J’Dyn Nussbaum has been bragging to family and friends alike about his “unbelievable” packing prowess despite both giant-size duffel bags being only 60% full. After years of complaining to his wife that she goes completely overboard when packing for their children for Camp Huron Lake and that he could easily do a better job, Eric Nussbaum was given the green light by his wife of fifteen years, Sandi, to take care of the seemingly months long, unenviable slog of packing the camp bags.
“I decided this would be the year that I would call Eric’s bluff and let him pack J’Dyn,” commented Sandi as she repacked both bags. “I wanted him to really suffer by telling him to start right before J’Dyn’s menstrual cycle so she’d be even more irritable than usual.”
After a fight to allow J’Dyn to privately pack her young lady garments in a separate discreet plastic bag, Eric helped his daughter label and add a bunch of t-shirts and some shorts. But as the bag started filling up, the in-over-his-head father who was not going to pay any of the camp’s additional weight baggage fees decided to employ the “Noah’s Ark Method” of only allowing two of any type of item going forward.
“How many towels does she really need? One beach and one bath towel. When she gets out of the shower she’s clean so the towel should be, too,” Eric rationalized. “And don’t get me started on the decorative bed pillows. Two is two too many.”
The vowel-less teen threw several fits when she was denied bringing her new Drunk Elephant C-Firma Fresh Day Serum as well as her brand new $200 Aviator Nation sweatshirt that she and her mother snuck past her father upon returning home from a secret shopping spree. He did however make sure to include a swim cap and shower cap to protect her recently keratin treated hair.
The final straw that ended this hare-brained attempt at packing came when Sandi overheard her husband ask J’Dyn whether she’ll be wearing her flip-flops or sneakers up to camp so he could pack the other pair since two pairs of footwear for a fourteen year-old Jewish girl is more than enough. The stunned and appalled mother hyperventilated for several minutes before busting into the multipurpose spare bedroom to relieve Eric of his duties.
Mr. Nussbaum is no stranger to his wife’s demanding standards when it comes to household chores such as washing dishes, folding laundry, and dusting and vacuuming. “I’m no dummy. After five minutes of J’Dyn’s complaining, I did what I always do when Sandi asks me to help out. I just do a half-ass job until she gets fed up and does it herself.”
This is so funny Steve! I believe the moil whispers this into the ears of all male Jewish infants during their bris and teaches them that strategy of avoiding annoying tasks.