Short Hills, NJ (July 5, 2022) – Local couple Jill and Michael Caplan were both reportedly only seconds from their first climax in months when their love making was interrupted by a “ding” on Michael’s iPhone 6S informing the couple that a picture had been posted of their ten year-old daughter Layke on the camp photo app. The alert put a screeching halt to the lovebirds’ long overdue romp in the sack leaving the couple to wonder whether “this counts” toward their summer goal despite the absence of mutual satisfaction.
For the first time since Lyndsei Nussbaum’s over-the-top sleepover following the finalization of her parents’ divorce in late February, the Caplans found themselves alone on a weekend as Layke enjoys herself at Camp Huron Lake for the next month and a half. Following a romantic date night at Le Chateau du Ribs et Pasta, the sex-charged duo forewent the molten chocolate desert and took the short Uber ride home then did a beeline to their intimate love loft where Michael had already laid out a rose-petal path from the bedroom door to the Jacuzzi tub which was finally used after nine years living in the house.
“It was really nice. We had a nice relaxing soak while Michael massaged my feet and we engaged in some playful dirty talk,” Jill recalled. “We were really connecting on both an emotional and physical level that we hadn’t reached in years. Love was in the air.”
The couple turned back the clock to 2009 with an array of old pre-child sexual favorites and mixed in a dizzying array of moves Jill picked up at a ladies only adult toy party. Unfortunately for the rabbit-like duo, Michael received a special ding indicating that Camp Huron Lake’s facial recognition technology tagged Layke in one or more photos.
Once Jill wrestled free of her husband and tossed him onto the floor, she dove to her nightstand where her iPhone 13 was also indicating that her daughter was, indeed, recognized in several of July 3rd’s 2,384 girls side pictures. As she continued to swat away Michael’s verbal and physical urging to resume their session, Jill perused the six pictures Layke was featured then began to see if the 100% fail-proof technology missed her in the other 2,378 photos.
“It was a great night for us up until that alert,” lamented the dejected, sexually frustrated husband. “We were at it for some time but all it took for her to finally reach orgasm was to see Layke in her Wisconsin sweatshirt arm in arm with last summer’s most popular group of girls then a snapshot of her posing with “It” heartthrob Jacob Moskowitz whose father is a well-off dentist/periodontist in the area. Wish I could satisfy her like that.”