Lake Huron, PA (July 6, 2020) – Jake Horowitz, the lone camper at Camp Huron Lake, took second place in the Pocono’s biggest camp tennis tournament of the summer. Despite being the only human entrant in the entire tournament, Horowitz somehow could not overcome the dominant twenty-foot high hitting wall located in between the upper camp basketball court and the volleyball/newcomb complex.
The tournament looked like it would be a forfeit win for Horowitz since every other camp has shuttered its doors due to the Covid-19 pandemic, but Huron Lake’s biggest rival, Camp Kam-El-Tow, threw a wrench into the premature coronation of the novice player by entering the Boys’ Side tennis wall as their representative.
Camp Director Marty Feldstein was initially not on board with allowing the wall to participate but eventually came around since Horowitz needed a bit of a boost since he has not been allowed to swim this summer.
“I was going to cancel the tournament but the trophies were already ordered,” Feldstein explained. “I would think he would make the Finals since he’s one of two entrants but, you never know, funnier things have happened.”
Tennis specialist Norm Levine felt Horowitz would definitely make the final match. “Mathematically speaking, he has to make the Finals, doesn’t he? What am I missing?”
Both opponents breezed their ways into the showdown after securing walkover wins in the first four rounds. Horowitz came into the big match a bit winded from the tenth of a mile walk from the Dining Room to the tennis wall. Despite having an abundance of confidence from a month’s worth of lessons before the pandemic hit, Horowitz was clearly overmatched from the start. After losing the first set 6-0, he changed his strategy to pepper the wall with an array of intermittent drop shots but the wall was able to counter with even better shots of its own and cruised to another 6-0 set to capture the championship.
“I thought I played well but the wall got stronger as the match went on. It’s a relentless opponent. My one bounce serve was on but it didn’t seem to make a difference. Even when I hit a shot at a really sharp angle, it returned the ball the opposite way at the exact same angle,” said the clearly frustrated middle school grad who somehow aced the Law of Reflection unit in Honors Geometry. “And the wall never got tired. Hell, I don’t have any idea how I even could’ve gotten a point to be honest.”
After presenting the emotionless wall with the first place trophy, Feldstein offered his heartfelt congratulations with absolutely no response whatsoever.
“You’d think it would at least say thank you. It’s like talking to a freakin’ wa…Ohhhh, that’s where the expression comes from!” exclaimed Feldstein, who later decided not to give Horowitz any trophy at all.