Earlier this week, an article in the New York Post detailed how certain couples spend their time while their children are away enjoying camp. To most parents, this lifestyle is something so far from what life is really like when the kids are away.
NY POST Article (July 18, 2017 - Doree Lewak) How 99.99% of Camp Parents Relate to the Article When Elle, 39, and her husband dropped off their 9-year-old son and 8-year-old daughter at camp three weeks ago, the Long Island parents were only too happy to wave goodbye to their kids for several weeks. Later that day they boarded a party bus with 30 friends and plenty of booze to go see Dead & Company at Citi Field. We went to the Sports Authority "Everything Must Go" Sale to see if we could pick up some tennis balls on the cheap then off to Ruby Tuesdays to use our $20 for $10 Groupon. “As soon as [our children] left, we’ve been in nonstop [party] mode — it’s seven weeks of freedom,” says Elle, a fitness instructor whose two kids are away for the first summer ever, leaving her to enjoy parties with pot, magic mushrooms, ecstasy and group sex. We went to a fabulous dinner party featuring a pot of delicious portabello mushrooms then went home and was in ecstasy because I was too full and gassy to have sex with my husband. “This is the first time in nine years I’m not having to be a mom — I want no responsibility,” says Elle, who, like many in this story, declined to give her last name for privacy reasons. “Some friends have swingers parties — I’ve seen group sex . . . It’s no pressure, go with the flow. It’s summer.” I walked in on my husband watching porn and someone in the video looked like a person I may or may not know. Traditionally, it’s the kids who run amok when Mom and Dad are out of town. But these days, it’s the parents who are home alone and going skinny-dipping while their youngsters are away at camp. My husband and I took showers one after another and happened to be naked as we avoided eye contact. “When you know your children are happy and safe, you can let loose,” says Melanie, 38, a Long Island mom who shipped off her 12-year-old and 10-year-old a few weeks ago. It’s her second kid-free summer, and she and her husband wasted no time popping bottles. We popped bottles of Xanax and Ativan since we have no control over what our kids are doing. “We took the boat to a bar and literally spent all Sunday afternoon drinking,” says the VP of a fashion company. Other exploits have included a night out on Fire Island with girlfriends, where they closed down the bar at 5 a.m. We took the ferry to Fire Island for the day but had to leave at 5 pm when the bartender cut us off for trying to pay with our ferry ticket stubs. And the best is yet to come, she says, noting one set of parents who host an epic bash every year. “The couple goes all out — with naked girls and midgets,” she says. We go to a party every year at the Rosens. Howie is 5'2" and his wife, Terri, likes to flash her breasts when she gets really drunk. ‘Friends have swingers parties… [its] go with the flow, it’s summer.’ - Elle, a Long Island mother People have parties; friends swing by. For parents who had children at a relatively young age, having the kids away at camp helps them make up for lost time. “It’s your second chance if you didn’t get to do things when you were younger,” says Lori Zaslow, 39, a relationship expert and co-founder of matchmaking service Project Soulmate. We're going to probably make up for lost time by napping once a day and twice on weekends. “There’s a price you pay to have a life being a parent,” adds the Upper East Side mom of two, who has been married 16 years. “I can do whatever the f – – k I want, and I will. I’m not going to waste a minute.” The relationship guru makes a suggestion: “This is the time to have sex in the kids’ bedroom and have fun!” I have a creepy fetish to have sex with my husband while I stare at my daughter's stuffed animals and crappy art projects. She’s typically quite modest when her kids are around, but all that changes when they leave. “I can dress more promiscuous — I’m literally going to put on my tightest dresses,” she says. “I’ve never worn a bikini in front of them — I don’t want to be too exposed. Now I’ll be walking around naked.” I've gained a ton of weight since we go out to eat every night so everything I own is so f'n tight. I love to walk around naked so my bra and underwear don't make semi-permanent marks on my skin. But, says Zaslow — who works as a relationship expert — for some of her peers, having the kids away doesn’t make for summer fun. “Many couples realize they have nothing in common anymore,” she says. Our mutual love of money is probably enough to get us through seven weeks until the kids come home and we get back to our routine of work, carpooling, and passing out at night. That’s not the case for Tara, 44, a mom of two pre-teen girls, and her husband. The couple uses their child-free time to really reconnect with each other. “First rule is, clothes come off when you get in the house,” says the fashion executive, who also lives on the Upper East Side. “The kids are out of the house — and you want to have sex every day. It’s the fun of being able to do it — it’s a game.” My wife makes me take my clothes off when I come into the house because she's a neurotic germophobe. We had sex for one day straight. She and her husband also enjoy regular “Playboy party” dinners with their friends: The women don as little as possible and the men dress like Hugh Hefner. Or there’s “tennis and tequila” at the club. We wear age appropriate outfits since most of our husbands aren't in their 90's and we're in our late 30's/early 40's. “It feels like we’re kids at an adult camp — we’ve earned it,” she says. “We’re great parents, but sometimes kids need a break from their parents, and parents need a break from kids.” We're great parents! Just ask us! Gary Katz, a Chelsea-based therapist, says it’s healthy for parents to have a good time. “Everyone has a little badass in them,” he says. It's healthy to have a glass of wine with dinner. But sometimes the good times can turn bad. “I know a professional Wall Street guy who got arrested for urinating in an alleyway outside a club. He spent the whole weekend in jail,” says Katz. “It was the week after the kids went away to camp.” There's no way a professional Wall Street guy went to a club and drank too much. Now I don't believe any of the story.