Huron Lake, PA (July 26, 2016) – In what can only be considered a shocking announcement, the Camp Huron Lake Canteen was awarded the highest honor in the culinary arts world by receiving a Three-Star rating from the ultra-prestigious Michelin Guide yesterday. Never before has an eating establishment in the Pocono Valley received such praise. Canteen Director/Head of Laundry Operations/Boys’ Side Porter Fritz Krondorfer was also singled out as top Head Chef in all of Wayne County.
Last summer, the drab, lifeless canteen consisted of a small freezer filled with frozen colored ice and a wall full of fattening, salty snacks. Understandably, few of the campers ventured over during their rest hour and free play time. Seeking to increase canteen traffic while upping camp profits, Camp Director Marty Feldstein hired Krondorfer in hopes of turning the canteen into a destination for campers to empty their pockets and dine on delicious gourmet fare.
This past Monday, Krondorfer amazed the palates of campers and counselors with a crème fraiche as an appetizer followed by foie gras served with lemon balm and fragrant red chili emulsion, then tickled their taste buds with locally sourced venison, seared to perfection, topped with hibiscus mustard and sweet pea puree. For dessert, the canteen-goers were delighted by a clafoutis, a baked French dessert of black cherries, arranged in a buttered dish, covered with a thick flan-like batter.
Junior girl, Addy Weiner, has been a regular at the canteen for the better part of a week. “My friends wanted me to play gaga with them but I’ve been going gaga over this food every night at free play. My parents aren’t going to like that I spend around $386 a meal including tax and tip but a girl’s gotta eat.”
Although no one at the camp officially knows who the Michelin reviewer (aka “inspector”) is, rumor has it a new camper, 16 year-old French CIT, Pierre LeFeberge is the prime candidate. After complaining of the “swill” in the dining hall, the beret-wearing, thinly-mustached LeFeberge has been seen at the canteen every free play and at brunch on Sundays.
As pleased as many of the campers and staff are with the new canteen, plenty long for the days of frozen Charleston Chews, greasy hamburgers, and overcooked french fries. “All I want is a candy bar,” remarked Inter boy Jake Steinfink, “But Fritz takes my Milky Way out of the wrapper, sprinkles it with powdered sugar then uses this mini blow torch to carmelize it. Next time I’ll just get gum.”
When asked what the secret to his three-star rating, hour-long rest hour lines, an critical acclaim throughout Wayne County, Krondorfer’s response was simple, “Lotsa ketchup.”