Short Hills, NJ (June 17, 2016) – According to a recent Jewish Weekly News poll, the majority of the sleep away camp community is ninety-five percent done packing and have been for over a month. To the day camp and town recreation crowd, this may sound like a great position to be in, but as parents of sleep away campers can attest, being done versus almost done, is as big as the difference between Oreos and Hydrox.
Typically the first ninety-five percent of packing is completed in just a few hours while the remaining five percent can linger for weeks. Some of the reasons for the delay in finishing include “not enough time in the day”, “stuff’s in the wash”, and “still haven’t unpacked from last year”. But by far the most popular responses was simply “I’m lazy”.
“I can’t look at these f’n bags anymore!” screamed Sandi Gluckstein, 41, of Short Hills whose daughter’s duffels have sat in the upstairs hallway of her home for the past five weeks. Both bags are packed to the gills with all the essentials Emyly, 10, could possibly need for the next seven weeks at Camp Huron Lake, an oasis of summer fun in Pennsylvania’s Pocono Mountains. But Sandi and her husband, also named Sandy, 42, just cannot seem to be able to add those last few items and finally zip up the bags.
“It’s Emyly’s second summer at Huron Lake so you’d think we’d know the drill. If I trip over this g-d damn trunk one more time,” barked a frustrated Sandy clearly showing his age by referring to the bags as “trunks”. “Just send off the f’n bag already and if she’s missing something we’ll send it up! Sandi, if this bag is still here tomorrow, Emyly isn’t going to camp! I’m not joking.”
Wife Sandi had similar frustrations. “Of course Emyly’s still going. We already paid and it’s non-refundable. Anyway, the first ninety-five percent took about two hours. It was easy…towels, bedding, clothes, yada yada. But the last five percent may just kill me. I’m not joking. I need to print labels for letters, get stamps, wait for her special order rug to arrive, and figure out how to stuff one more piece of bunk junk into her bag. I can’t do this anymore. I’m losing my f’n mind!”
According to the poll, when asked if the monumentally time consuming task of packing was worth sending their kids to camp for seven weeks, the answer was a resoundingly unanimous “HELL, YES!”