Lake Huron, PA (July 26, 2022) – Ilyssa Liebowitz is furious. Alyssa Rabinowitz is beside herself. Melissa Moskowitz is demanding answers and threatening Camp Huron Lake Director Marty Feldstein with legal action. These young women along with their bunkmates have suffered a blow to their summers that few could possibly imagine only four and a half weeks ago. Apparently, the new laundry service Feldstein chose over the winter completely ruined nearly three dozen pairs of Bunk 36’s Lululemon Hotty Hot shorts and several pairs of period underwear. Investigators are determining whether the catastrophe occurred in the wash or dry cycle.
The day started out just like every Monday morning. Girls were complaining that they forgot the electives they chose last week for this week, others were moaning about the intense heat, and three girls were plotting revenge on Danny Lipman who kissed then minutes later broke up with their friend after last night’s co-ed Family Feud activity. At approximately 11:15, two sacks of clean laundry were delivered to the bunk’s porch waiting to be put away during Rest Hour following lunch. Feldstein estimates the time was around 1:20 when he heard a piercing scream while sitting in his office.
“I was throwing away the second and third place trophies the Inter Boys and Ultra Girls brought back from their tournaments last week when I heard a blood curdling scream that sounded like it was right outside my door,” Feldstein commented. “I immediately sprinted out of my office then heard more screaming…this time even louder and more girls. I thought maybe a bear or animal got into one of the girls bunks. I jumped onto my golf cart and got over there as fast as 15 miles per hour could take me.”
When he arrived at Bunk 36, he witnessed the gruesome sight of twelve girls on their knees screaming and crying into discolored, frayed, torn Lululemon Hotty Hot shorts. As shouts of “My Hotty Hots!!! What am I going to wear for Pilates???”, “I can’t go back to Athleta. I can’t. I won’t!!!” and “I worked so hard all winter to be able to wear these!” rang through the bunk area, one girl was seen running out of the bunk with a pair of ripped up period underwear clutched in her right hand, smoke billowing from her ears, screaming “Marty, you’re a dead man. I’m supposed to get my period tomorrow, you son of a…!!!”
A spokesperson for We Wash It Laundry knows the importance of using a reputable laundry service both during and after camp. “Camp clothes can do a real number on a washer and dryer. Very few camps or families have the type of industrial strength machines to deal with the filth camp clothing brings. Camp Huron Lake used us for years without any issues. Then all of a sudden, Marty said he needed to switch to Destinee Horowitz’s just-out-of-prison brother-in-law’s laundry service. I have a feeling Marty will be calling us soon.”
To sign up for post-camp laundry service by We Wash It Laundry, click here. Don’t forget to mention The Daily Camp News!