Huron Lake, PA (July 5, 2019) – After years of fielding hundreds, if not thousands, of phone calls from distraught parents, Camp Huron Lake Director Marty Feldstein has hired famed photographer Annie Leibovitz for the remainder of the summer. Despite the seven on staff photographers posting mass amounts of pictures on a nightly basis, camp parents still are unhappy with the overall quality and quantity of photos of their children.
Leibovitz, best known for her mesmerizing portraits of world-renowned celebrities such as LeBron James, Michael Jackson, and Lady Gaga, now has the privilege of capturing campers such as Junior Boy Jake Lipschitz, Senior Girl Lauryn Finkelstein, and Teen Boy Jake Rabinowitz in both still life and action photos. At a staggering $20,000 per day plus $100 per published photo, Leibovitz is bound to please even the most disgruntled, unrealistic parents in the northeast. The brilliant lenswoman has shot some of the most well-guarded celebrities on earth but knows a Jewish parent is more critical than the handlers for Queen Elizabeth II and Rihanna (photographed in 2007 and 2012 respectfully) combined.
“I know it’s a steep price to pay and it’ll probably bankrupt the camp,” commented Feldstein, best known for cutting corners at the campers’ expense, “but I just couldn’t take the complaining and bitching that a kid’s head was turned the wrong way or that a child was in the background alone. This is money well spent.”
Leibovitz promised Feldstein that there will not be one picture published where a camper is on the outside of a group photo. While it seems impossible to achieve, the genius photographer has already been able to produce a photo containing a line of Inter Girls with their arms around one another, yet miraculously, no one camper is at the end of either side of the line. Additionally, not one picture Leibovitz has taken includes a random foot, hand, or a partially obstructed face. So far, many parents seem to be pleased with her work.
“I just saw a picture of my son who was hunched over vomiting after yesterdays’ Hot Dog Eating Contest. She captured the essence of who he is in one picture. Even more, she was able to somehow get him to smile while food was coming back up from his stomach. She’s really talented!” exclaimed Rebecca Lufkin, whose son Jack was disqualified for throwing up only twenty-six seconds after the conclusion of the contest.