Huron Lake, PA (Aug 10) – With the exception of a single night Goldie slept in the infirmary, he and best friend, Winey, 10, have been absolutely inseparable the entire summer. Whether it is on the soccer field, in the dining room, or in the pool, the two first-year campers have barely left each other’s side yet neither boy has any clue whatsoever what the other’s real name is.
The Bunk 11 duo have absolutely no idea what any of the boys in their bunk are named as a matter of fact. The rest of their bunkmates include Bobble Head, Greenie, Blue, Rudy, Wolfie, Dee-Vine, Moose, Archie, Big Guy, Champ, and Diablo. While most nicknames given by bunk counselors are variations of their semetic last names, some are based on hair color, favorite toy or activity, or clothing choice on the first day of camp. In very rare circumstances, some boys will get completely random nicknames when they don’t have a single defining quality or name trait that stands out.
Winey and Goldie met only minutes after getting off the bus at camp and instantly formed what is now a life-long bond. Although they introduced themselves to one another, clearly, like most of the male population, neither bothered to listen to the other’s reply. Unfortunately, it may be too late to ask each other their names. “If I ask Winey what his real name is he may not think I think of him as my best friend,” contemplated Goldie, 10, “I’m pretty sure his name may be Jake or Jacob. I guess I’ll wait until the division list is sent home on the last day of camp to find out.”
Winey, who like Goldie, hails from the NY/NJ area, also shares his best friend’s angst. “I know at the end of the year we get a list of kids in our group. Unfortunately, there’s a Goldstein, two Goldbergs, a Goldenberg, and a plain old Gold in this division. There’s no way in hell he’ll figure out who I am because there’s a Weinstein, Weinberg, Weinstock and a Weiner. I wish my last name was Smith or Johnson so at least my name could have been a little original at camp,” lamented Winey knowing it will probably be 45 more weeks before he and Goldie would see each other again. “I just can’t take the risk of having my mom call the wrong Goldie since two of the other kids are real douche bags. Imagine a sleep over with them???”
Bunk D counselor Ryan Aaronson was absolutely no help to the boys or their families either. On Visiting Day, Aaronson was sure to give generic, stock answers to any questions asked by his campers’ parents. The third-year counselor’s replies of “He’s a great kid”, “He gets along well with the others” and “Your son is one of my favorites” were received by parents with warm, relieved smiles. Aaronson admitted to losing the bunk roster on the second day of camp and resorted to making up names for two of the boys whose name he couldn’t remember. “I had a tough time the first few days remembering which kid I was calling “Big Guy” and which was “Champ”. Once the other kids started calling them the names, it kinda stuck,” explained Aaronson.
Winey is already counting the days down to the summer of 2020. “I can’t wait to go back to camp. I just hope when we get our bunk requests, I put down the right Goldie, not the asshole who I think stole my Rainbow Loom bracelet.”