Twelve Year Old Boy Packs for Camp in Record Time

Marlboro, NJ (June 17, 2025) – Recent Marlboro Elementary School graduate, Trayson Berkowitz, needed only two minutes to pack his duffel bags for his first summer at Camp Huron Lake.  In record time, Berkowitz grabbed a single towel, two bathing suits, a 5 in 1 shampoo/conditioner/body wash/toothpaste/sunscreen, and a Chinese knockoff Jalen Brunson Knicks jersey and haphazardly chucked them into his over-sized, initialized bags then ran back to his room to get in as much screen time as possible before leaving for camp.

Berkowitz’s mother, Amy, meticulously scoured the Huron Lake suggested packing list to ensure every single item she highlighted then purchased months before would make it into the two bags.  In addition to the suggestions, Mrs. Berkowitz also added any item mentioned in a group chat or online camp post. Unfortunately, many of the personalized items she purchased arrived with incorrect spellings of her son’s name.

“Because I chose to give my son a completely made up name, I had a tough time with a lot of the vendors who personalize all the camp crap we have to buy.  So Trayson will have to deal with opening up his plastic stationery holder, you know the ones with the poorly drawn sports equipment, and not see his name,” noted Amy. “Once we’re done suing Kamp Krazy Kreationz for the error, I’ll buy him another one. They’re probably antisemites.”

Although Trayson’s sister, Trae-C, has been attending Huron Lake for the three summers and has made life a living hell for the entire family every June the past three years by trying to stuff nearly all of her belongings into two duffel bags, the clueless pre-teen truly believes he can attend the seven week session with so few items he could simply show up to camp with his things wrapped neatly in a bandana on a stick.

“No need for underwear since I have two bathing suits and one towel is more than enough. I rarely, if ever, wear shirts during the summer, so the shirt I wear to camp and my Brunson jersey is the perfect amount to bring,” the clueless Trayson proclaimed. “Anyway, I’m sure the camp does laundry on a twice-daily basis like my crazy psychopath mom does at home so I’m more than covered for the summer. Worst case, my parents bring up some more clothes on Visiting Day.”

Trayson also mentioned that he intends to borrow from his new bunkmates anything he forgets and, in turn, they can borrow anything of his with the exception of his Brunson jersey and bathing suits.