Health Center Nurse Mixes Up Camper Meds for Entire Summer

Lake Huron, PA (August 2, 2024) – Josh Bornstein and Josh Bernstein, both twelve year-old Inter boys in Bunk 17 at Camp Huron Lake, have unfortunately mistakenly been given the wrong medication every morning as a result of the new camp nurse’s failure to be able to differentiate between the two. Luckily for the two friends, the mix up has not caused any damage to their short- and long-term health.

Bornstein, a Plainview resident, had been taking growth hormones for the past several months to hopefully grow taller than his doctor’s prediction of five foot, three inches and the changes have been noticeable in the months prior to coming to CHL.  Bernstein, an Old Bethpage resident, has been on the anti-constipation medication Pedia-Lax to ensure his bowel movements stay regular while he ingests grade D camp food and sugary snacks from the canteen.

But since his arrival five weeks ago, Bernstein has been given growth hormones and is now four inches taller and twenty-five pounds heavier due to the medicine snafu. 

“I was already pretty big for my age, but now I’m like 6-3, 210 pounds and I’ve had to borrow my counselors’ clothes since none of my own fit anymore,” Bernstein complained, “But I’ll probably drop a ton of weight when I take my first shit in a month any day now.”

While Bernstein is experiencing a second impressive growth spurt, Bornstein, now 5-7, has seen his growth stagnate this summer and has also lost a considerable amount of weight due to his daily mid-morning toilet tangoes. 

“I guess at some point I would stop growing but I never expected the hormones to make me crap every day like clockwork.  I’ve probably read every Archie comic book on boys’ side this summer while sitting on the can so at least I’ve been productive,” mentioned Bornstein.

Camp nurse Rita Margolis has struggled in recent years to keep up with new protocol of having outside pharmaceutical vendors provide prescriptions in tiny individual packages making it hard to read the miniscule writing on the labels. 

“Bernstein, Bornstein…what’s the difference? Two kids from the same town essentially, same bunk, same dark hair, brown eyes.” Margolis commented as she lit a cigarette popped a random pill on the way to the bathroom.