Senior Girls Keratin Treatments Force Camp Pool Shutdown

Lake Huron, PA (June 28, 2024) – The Camp Huron Lake pool has been shut down indefinitely following the Senior Girls swim test on the first day of camp due to Keratin treated hair interacting with the pool’s high chlorine and pH levels. The thirty once wavy/curly-haired but now perfectly straight-haired thirteen year old girls were required by veteran head lifeguard Josh Stonestein to perform a series of swimming tasks including diving to the bottom of the pool and treading water for five minutes.

“Typically, you’ll have one or two girls who get the treatment done before camp but with the unseasonably humid weather the last few weeks, I think every kid had it done,” explained an exasperated Stonestein. “I need to bring in Walter White to figure out how to fix the water to make it swimmable.  I guess I’ll have the kids run through the sprinkler…wait we don’t have sprinklers?”

The $200-$500 cost of the procedure was not an obstacle for the parents of the senior girls as none wanted to experience the horror of viewing a group picture where their daughter is the only one without pin-straight Geisha-like hair. There were several young ladies who did not want to get the treatment done but did it at their mothers’ insistences so the other bunk mothers would not start their own group chat to discuss the kinkiness of the untreated locks.

Jennn Goldstein, mother of senior girl X.S., is sending up a straightening iron in a FedEx overnight package and strict instructions to her daughter that she should not be in any pictures under any circumstances. 

“I’m really hoping that her group leader will allow her to stay back at the bunk during soccer and ceramics so she can straighten her hair like it was at drop off,” noted Goldstein who uses the Garden City Mall parking lot as her own personal family photo shoot. 

Stonestein has spent hours of his time submerged in the pool scrubbing the walls instead of using the time to twirl his whistle and bark orders through a megaphone at campers who are more than two feet away from their swim buddies. “It’s been a rough start to the summer…I’m not gonna lie.  But the one weird side effect is that my pubic hair is now perfectly straight which is an unexpectedly nice change.”

For Visiting Day, in lieu of a bunk gift of knock off Louis Vutton/Huron Lake bags and/or accessories, the mothers have chipped in to fly in Esmerelda of Esmerelda’s Salon and Spa of Boca Raton to provide Keratin treatments so the girls are presentable for the remaining three weeks of camp.

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