Italian Camper who Identifies as Jewish Allowed to Compete in Color War Gaga Event

Lake Huron, PA (August 7, 2025) – Camp Huron Lake Super Senior boy Tony “T-Bone” Balboni, an Italian 14 year-old who came to camp with his neighbor Jacob Finkelstein, has been allowed to participate in this year’s Color War Gaga tournament despite the event being closed to non-Jews since its inception.  As a result of three gentile campers easily winning the tournament from the summers 2021 through 2023, Camp Director Marty Feldstein limited the participant pool to only Jewish campers in an attempt to make the games more competitive.

Gaga is sport that originated in Israel in the 1970’s that has rapidly gained popularity in both sleepaway and day camps and is mostly played Jewish children.  The English translation of the Hebrew “Gaga” is “hit-hit” or “touch-touch” though historians maintain that the game was originally called “Letpos” which in English means “catch” but since so few children could actually catch the ball, the rules were changed so that participants could slap at the ball instead creating lengthier games.

Balboni and Finkelstein, both on the Blue team, hatched up a fool-proof plan to ensure the mustached Italian athlete was eligible to participate. 

“Fink gave me his chain with the horse on it and I’ve been greeting Marty with ‘Shalom’ every time I see him,” commented Balboni, referring to Finkelstein’s Chai necklace. “I already use the words ‘schmuck’, ‘putz’, and ‘schlong’ and I’ve been to at least twenty bar mitzvahs so I clearly identify as Jewish.”

Feldstein struggled with his decision to allow “T-Bone” to play but was ultimately swayed by Balboni’s answer to “What is a Jewish person?” in which he replied “someone who identifies as being Jewish.”  Balboni’s circular logic proved to be too much for the camp director to comprehend.

Though the young man has yet to step into the Gaga octagon, camp experts predict that he will likely win without breaking a sweat given the fact that for the past five and a half weeks the usual also-ran Camp Huron Lake has won every tournament he’s played in.  In addition, his friends claim he’s really talented when it comes to slapping balls.

“I really should have asked his bunkmates if they’ve ever seen him in the shower.  That would be a dead giveaway if he identifies as Jewish or not,” Feldstein said. “In hindsight, it’s probably good that I didn’t ask a bunch of fourteen year-olds about the appearance of foreskin on their friend’s penis.”