Girls Side Avoids Infirmary Led by Week 6 Dr. Cliff Huxtable

Lake Huron, PA (August 5, 2025) – Despite being a once well-respected New York OB/GYN who practices out of the basement of his Brooklyn Heights brownstone, Dr. Cliff Huxtable, for reasons unbeknownst to many, has not had one female visitor this week at the Camp Huron Lake Infirmary.  Most of Boys Side has found their ways to see the famous doctor who has supplied the boys with Jell-O Pudding Pops and Coca Cola despite the ailments they presented.

Camp Director Marty Feldstein has a history of hiring unqualified camp doctors such as Dr. Suess, Dr. Dre, and Dr. Ruth among others so it was no surprise when Huxtable walked into the Infirmary to relieve Week 5 doctor Drake Ramoray, an equally incompetent ER doc from the same network in New York City.  While most camp doctors offer their services in exchange for generous tuition discounts for one or more children, Huxtable was looking forward to more human interaction following a brief stint behind bars.

“Yes, I know he’s had some legal issues but he’s a solid doctor. And I assumed he’s Jewish, too.  I’ve heard him talk about going to temple, his love of temple, and the honors he received at temple,” commented Feldstein. “Not until yesterday did my assistant tell me that he was talking about Temple University. Now things make more sense.”

As his week at the helm of the Infirmary winds down, dozens upon dozens of male campers needing medical assistance continue to be afflicted with flu-like symptoms.  Apparently Jell-O Pudding Pops have not been approved by the FDA to treat any sickness listed in the American Medical Association’s Glossary of Diseases.  In addition, Huxtable has been seen and heard making inane be-bop noises while listening to his vast collection of jazz records he plays over the Infirmary’s intercom system.

His herky-jerky way of overenunciating certain words has left many of his visitors more confused about their ailments than when they first walk through the health center’s doors. But Huxtable is not concerned about being accused of malpractice as he constantly reminds everyone who will listen that his wife is a high-powered New York attorney. 

“This may be the worst doctor we’ve ever had here. My stomach hurt a little in the beginning of the week and now it’s killing me,” noted junior boy Noah Nussbaum. “Dr. Huxtable keeps telling me laughter is the best medicine but I still feel shitty, don’t understand any of this jokes, and the design on his sweater is making me nauseous.”

Girls side head counselor Yvonne Horowitz has been strongly cautioning female campers to wait to visit the Infirmary until Huxtable is gone. “Next week is Doc McStuffins. I think he’s probably a better option.”