Morristown, NJ (Sept 4, 2014) – Fed up with entertaining her three whiny, bitchy children all of July and August, single mother Andrea Smith of Morristown followed through on her promise that she’ll be so happy she’ll “blow the fuckin’ bus driver on the first day of school”. Smith’s summer of hell mercifully came to a close at 7:43 am as her kids boarded the bus to begin the 2014-2015 school year.
During two brutal months home with three elementary-aged children, Smith repeatedly told her closest confidants that she was going to perform felatio on the school bus driver due to her extreme happiness and relief when her kids go back to school. Smith, a very sexually conservative 39-year old, had enough of making three different lunches every day, planning play dates with neighborhood kids, and cleaning sand out of her children’s private areas after several trips to the local lake. After a week with her parents and gaggle of nieces and nephews at a two-bedroom rental in Manasquan, Smith upped her daily wine consumption to three quarters of a bottle just to get through the day just to “take the edge off”.
The highlight of the summer was when her two youngest children butted heads on a neighbor’s trampoline and were knocked unconscious. After spending nearly twelve hours in the emergency room, Smith was seen in the parking lot repeatedly muttering through clenched teeth, “No joke…I’m gonna blow the bus driver once these little pieces of shit go back to school. I swear, God, if you give me the strength to get through to September 4th, I’m going to make that driver see stars.”
Morristown Elementary bus driver Chuck Lazzeri was all too happy to return to Smith’s home to enjoy his back to school BJ. “I usually get a gift card to Dunkin’ Donuts but, like most 63-year old widowers, I’ll take a hummer over a cup of coffee any day of the week,” he commented as he pulled up his pants before going back to school to pick the kids up for afternoon dropoff.
After orally pleasuring Lazzeri, Smith called the school to enroll the kids in the school after care program and enjoyed an eight-hour nap.
happy to return to Smith’s home to enjoy his back to school BJ. “I usually get a gift card to Dunkin’ Donuts
but, like most 63-year old widowers, I’ll take a hummer over a cup of coffee
any day of the week,” he commented as he pulled up his pants before going back
to school to pick the kids up for afternoon dropoff.
enroll the kids in the school after care program and enjoyed an eight-hour
nap.
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