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Visiting Day Records Smashed at Camp Huron Lake

On Boys’ Side, impressive records were also set.  Attorney Eric Horowitz of Marlboro, NJ, father of Jake, 9, absolutely crushed the mark for most Cupcakes by Melissa eaten in a three hour span with 57 besting the old record set by his brother, Matt last year.  After Horowitz’s wife, Rachel, left the corned beef and extra lean pastrami on the roof of the car as she packed up a candy cake from local vendor “Sweets, Treats, and Meats”, he knew…


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Jewish Mothers Storm Schools, Demand Daily Pictures

Livingston, NJ (Aug 1, 2013) – Yesterday, hundreds of mothers angrily stormed the Boards of Education in prominent areas such as Livingston, Marlboro, Scarsdale and several Long Island towns demanding daily pictures of their children’s educational activities once the 2013-2014 school year begins.   After seven full weeks of semi-daily and, in some cases, hourly photo updates from their children’s summer camps, Jewish mothers want to be able to see their sons and daughters in action shots at school during the…


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Senior Boy Experiences First Wet Dream at Camp

Boy Remains Traumatized, Yet Relaxed Huron, Pa (Aug 7) – Similar to so many adolescent girls experiencing menses for the first time while away at summer camp, Camp Huron Lake Senior Boy Josh Weinstein, 12, had his first ever nocturnal emission last night in Bunk 21.  Weinstein, from Melville, NY, woke up from an 8 hour long sleep to discover that the erotic dream he had was indeed semi-real. Confused as to what transpired and knowing his father, Mitch, wouldn’t…


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6 Oreos Now Worth 4 Days of Bedmaking, 3 days of Bunk Sweep

Up from 2 days of Outside Lines, 1 day Bathroom in 2012 Huron, Pa (Aug 7) – Proving that nothing is immune to the downtrodden US economy, Camp Huron Lake is reporting massive inflation in the camp equivalent of Oreos, Archie Comics, and other camp staples.  Oreos and other cookies and crackers have spiked in bartering price over the past three weeks to record highs. Camps up and down the east coast have all been reporting widespread inflation and it…


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Camps Urge Campers to Keep Gaga a Secret

“Can’t us Jews be good at something?” laments one director Huron, Pa (Aug 7) – For each of the past seven summers, Camp Huron Lake (CHL) has seen a dramatic rise in enrollment since introducing popular Israeli sport sensation Gaga.  Played in a fifteen foot wide octagon, Gaga has established itself as the most popular “sport” in nearly every Jewish camp from the Poconos to the Berkshires. Several key factors point to the popularity of Gaga among Jewish campers.  Catching…