News

Depressed “Lice Lady” Desperate for Business

Great Neck, NY (August 16, 2020) – Shelly Steinstein, Long Island’s self-proclaimed “Lice Lady” should be needling through children’s scalps searching for microscopic white bugs but instead is sitting on her couch wondering how she is going to make up for the tens of thousands of dollars in lost revenue from the sleepaway camp closures throughout the Northeast.  Her business has already taken a massive hit from remote learning due to the COVID pandemic and with a majority of schools…

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Horowitz Sweeps Year End Camp Awards

Lake Huron, PA (August 14, 2020) – Jake Horowitz, the only camper at Camp Huron Lake this summer, has suffered through seven weeks of disappointment after disappointment but has finally found redemption in the form of a massive award haul at last night’s annual all-camp award evening activity.  The ceremony put a giant smile on the face of the boy who seemed destined to live through an absolutely miserable summer. Below are the awards won by Horowitz: The “Champ” Award…


Horowitz Inexplicably Loses Color War Despite No Opponent

Lake Huron, PA (August 11, 2020) – In what can only be described as a monumental failure, Senior Boy Jake Horowitz, the only camper this summer at Camp Huron Lake due to the Covid pandemic, lost Color War as his Blue Oysters were defeated by the White Snakes despite the White Snakes having absolutely no one on the team.  It was a fitting ending to a summer that held so much promise at the beginning but ultimately proved to be…


Horowitz Hospitalized After Fifth Leg of Solo Apache Relay

Lake Huron, PA (August 8, 2020) – Last night, Jake Horowitz, a Senior boy at Camp Huron Lake and the only camper in attendance this summer due to the Covid pandemic, was hospitalized overnight after vomiting several times and showing signs of severe dehydration following the fifth leg of the Color War Apache Relay.  Horowitz is expected to make a full recovery by tomorrow night’s Sing and Banner Presentation.  The Apache relay has been a staple of sleep away camp…


Horowitz Not Selected for Color War Camper Captain

Lake Huron, PA (August 6, 2020) – Despite being the only camper at Camp Huron Lake this summer, Senior Boy Jake Horowitz was not selected as Camper Captain for this summer’s Color War, the Blue Oysters vs. the White Snakes.  Seemingly a “can’t miss” pick, Horowitz was truly flabbergasted not to see his name as one of the captains after receiving his split sheet from special Breakout guest Dr. Anthony Fauci.  Thinking it was a typographical error by office secretary…