News

Lone Camper Not Allowed in Pool Without Swim Buddy

Lake Huron, PA (July 3, 2020) – Thirteen year old Jake Horowitz, the only camper at Camp Huron Lake this summer due to state-mandated social distancing guidelines, has yet to go swimming and likely will not go at all over the next six weeks due to fact that he does not have a swim buddy.  Like most camps, Huron Lake has strict requirements regarding accountability of each and every camper especially during aquatics-related activities. A swim buddy has long been…

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Kids Off to Basement Camp for Next Seven Weeks

Livingston, NJ (June 29, 2020) – Due to the Covid-19 outbreak, the Finkelstein twins, Jayke and Mychael, 11, yesterday embarked on a seven-week fun-filled camp experience of a lifetime in their newly finished walk-out basement.  The boys will be joined by two Camp America counselors as well as a fulltime cook/porter to ensure they will be well fed and properly looked after.  The twins’ parents, Jennn and Mattt, have dead-bolted the basement door closed to give the boys a true…


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Camp Huron Lake to Open For One Lucky (Wealthy) Camper

Lake Huron, PA (June 26, 2020) – While most of the northeast struggles with the notion that summer camp will have to wait until 2021 due to the Covid-19 pandemic, one very privileged camper will be returning to Camp Huron Lake for what hopes to be an exciting seven weeks of carefree fun in the sun.  Jake Horowitz, 13, of Old Westbury, NY, will have the camp all to himself while isolating from most of society.  Camp Director Marty Feldstein…


Camp Cancelled – Parents’ Retirement Could be Moved Up Several Years

New York, NY (June 23, 2020) – With the cancellation of summer camps across the northeast due to the Covid-19 pandemic, money managers and wealth advisors have found a small silver lining among the despair in the form of early retirements for parents of multiple campers. On average, several top analysts agree, parents will be saving enough money this summer to comfortably stop working three to four years ahead of schedule. With sleepaway camp tuitions ranging from $8,000 to $18,000…


Facebook Duffel Bag Picture Postings Down 99% this Summer

Menlo Park, CA (June 17, 2020) – Facebook officials have reported that this June’s duffel bag postings have dropped more than ninety-nice percent compared to last year.  The Board of Directors has pointed to the Covid-19 pandemic as one of the major contributing factors and have warned that duffel bag-related advertisement income will likely take a huge hit on this year’s Profit and Loss statement.  Facebook hopes to recover the lion’s share of the lost revenue by ads targeting the…